A Few Reasons Not To Live In Worcester

Whoever claimed "The loons migrate to the big cities" may have been right, but for those who have never lived in small towns would have no idea what really goes on 10,000 miles away from a McDonalds.

I live in Providence, RI. It's a fairly large city, with all of the main "City" tools present; a shopping mall, bus stops dotted throughout main roads, and hot business women. The thing I love most about Providence (or big cities in general) is the amount of diversity you'll encounter with each new face that passes by you. Being a full blown mut (Dominican, Panamanian, uh... Black, and Italian [yes.]), I personally have never been known to abide by stereotypical presumptions of tastes or habits. One minute you'll see me playing keys trying to make a radio-influenced R&B track, and later that day I'll be doing a cover of Rage Against The Machine with a local band.

On topic though, I had got called in to cover for someone at my job. I didn't realize that I was the only person working that originated from my post. Oddly enough, everyone else was from another post, covering for people or there for undisclosed reasons.

There was this one lady who I had begun talking to. We had a long conversation about economics and environmentalism. She pointed out to me that she hadn't always lived in Providence but back in her school days, she had moved in Worcestor.

"It's an armpit I tell ya!"

HA! In high school, she was the outcast-type. She desparately planned on moving out of Providence ASAP after her graduation. She married another idiot and they moved to Worcestor (without any income). She told me a whole bunch of stories of things she saw while she lived there.

She did pretty well given her circumstances. She had a kid and worked a job and was able to play housewife simultaneously. One morning after washing clothes and hanging them out to dry, she decided to take a nap. She heard rambling outside in her backyard, and quickly hopped up to see what was going on. Two grown men had these big, black bags, and were stuffing them with her panties and knee highs (amongst other things).

In another incident after she had left for work, she had her entire garden desacrated. The only thing left were these nice, appealing dirt piles on her front lawn.

Elementary School is a place designed to give kids education and basic tools for them to grow and be successful in life. As important knowing how to cross the street is, isn't it odd that your child's crossing guard is an ex-child molestor? Background check? Maybe?

There was this halfway house a few blocks from where she lived. A HUGE sign on the corner of that same block read, "AIDS and Verneral Diseases are NOT moderated here!" Interesting..The things she saw going in and out are a little too sick for even the interwebs.
There's this one lady that lived in the house. She had to be about in her 50s and approx. 250 lbs. give or take. She would always wear a Gaga wig and have a glop of make-up on her face. But in her youth, she was notorious for her "easiness for a cheap rate." She had a problem with a customer, and whatever happened, she ended up losing a leg.
To this VERY day, you can find that lady in a nylon and a high-heel, hobbling along on a corner looking for some action/pay.

"Hey hon, I'll blow you off for half of that sandwich"

Eh - Hey, I'll tell you what - You can have the whole thing. I've lost my appetite.

Stay out of Worcestor folks.

- Cozby